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Review:CambAngst says:
Here is your second review from the "Review the person above you" thread.

This chapter is definitely funnier and more involved than the first, although the writing seems a bit less polished. I loved the one-two act of James and Roxanne messing with their classmates. The mention of the Resurrection Stone was a great setup and then you took it and ran with it. The reactions of the Slytherins and the mess it gets them into was priceless.

One thing struck me as factually odd. As armadillos are not native to Europe, it seems a bit odd that their bile would be used to brew a potion at Hogwarts.

Lastly, a couple of typos you might want to look at:

- In one paragraph, you say of Professor Dorny, "she seemed to like Roxanne" while in a later paragraph, you say "the board on which he had written instructions." So I'm not sure which gender is correct.

- "James shrugged and turned bag to the table" I think you mean "turned back to the table".

Great chapter. I'd love to read more. I'm also holding out hope that we haven't seen the last of Ghost in the Machine (M). ;)

Author's Response: I remember Harry using armadillo bile (I believe in GoF), which is why I decided to use it as an ingredient. I'm terrible at thinking up ingredients to potions, so I'm not very inventive and tend to take the easy way out. :P

Thanks for pointing out the typos - just fixed them. There always seem to be a few that get by me. Professor Dorny is definitely a she, but I originally had Slughorn continuing to teach the class and her taking over a few years down the road. Now I've changed that, and I guess I missed one of the pronouns. Oops. I am going to try to polish this up a bit, probably after NaNo.

I'm really glad you liked it, though, and thank you for the review! :)

And don't worry - you haven't seen the last of Ghost in the Machine. I actually have the second chapter written - the queue's just been so long, and there are other things I need to get up. : Oh, TA status, you would be lovely. Half my stories would get new chapters immediately, haha.


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