This is a lovely chapter, and a really moving way of showing Rose's emotions in the time before her death. It's a topic that generally isn't touched upon, and if it is, it is done so lightly and romanticised. You've done it very realistically, showing the anger and horribleness of it, and I thought it was very well written.
As before, there were a couple of points I wasn't sure on. Is she at a muggle hospital or a wizard one? Because at first the doctors say she will be sleeping more, but then she always wanted to be a healer, and then she talks about the doctors not being able to heal her...and it's all a bit confusing. Also, I'm not sure about the "cake" simile. It's fantastic at first, when you're talking about the timer, but personally I'm not sure if the rest of it (getting the cakes out) makes sense.
However, one of my favourite paragraphs was the one where people "pretend to understand". I know I do this when someone is upset and hurting, but I also know how annoying it is when people do it to you -- they just don't know what to say, and I think you captured her annoyance wonderfully.
I also really like how you had many short and brief sentences, as if signalling how close she is to death (I'm sorry, that's really analytical... I was just analysing a poem in English and I think it has transferred here, haha)
Once again, another wonderful one-shot, captured magnificently in under 700 words, congratulations!
And also I think you've got 30,000 now?! Congratulations, that is truly amazing :-) Megan xo
Author's Response: Thankyou! Yes, I've always noticed the lack of muggle-illness-type stories, and I just tried to write what I thought it would be like for her.
She's meant to be at a muggle hospital, drawing parallels between healers and doctors. And yes, I may go back and edit that! It was a bit confusing at first, but I was just trying to make an ironic sort of simile.
Thankyou! I just thought it would be so unhelpful to someone who's the centre of it, so thanks :)
Hehe, thanks! It's good you can see it that way!
Thankyou! Yes, I have. Thanks NaNo-Mummy :D