Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:academica says:
Hey! Here from review tag!

I like the humor in this piece. The biting sarcasm is pretty entertaining. However, you've got several typos in here that sometimes make it hard for the reader to understand your point. If you just proofread one more time before posting or get a beta to look over it, that should clear up the issue :)

Your character is an interesting person, but I personally would have preferred that you "show" me what she's like rather than just have her tell me directly. For example, when talking about her being impatient and angry, just her behavior toward the students fighting in the corridor was evidence enough of that. I don't think it was necessary to state it after the fact. Does that make sense?

Also, you've got a few inconsistencies in there; for example, you say that the Potions professor doesn't even bother giving her detention anymore, but then he does at the end of the chapter. I personally think that no respectable professor would actually stop giving a perpetually tardy student some sort of punishment, so you're probably better off just taking out the line about no more detentions :)

Great start! I can tell this will be a humorous story! :)

academica

Author's Response: Thanks so much for being so in depth! I'm going to do a major edit now :)
Yeah I've gotten in trouble before for telling rather than showing :o So I guess I'll have to be really careful with that, thanks for the tips about it though :) (It did make sense :P)
That's a really good point about the detention thing, I'm not sure what I was thinking :/
Thanks! :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net