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Review:NaidatheRavenclaw says:
Ooh, I really liked this! I love stories set in the Marauder era in any case, so I kind of automatically liked your story just because of that (:P) But you wrote it so well, that I love it for other reasons too! The idea that Marlene's parents died is intruiging. I definitely think you can do a lot with that.

Marlene, to me, seems to be characterized well for the most part. You have this childish wisdom about her, so that she says wise things, but still has a childlike quality about the way she says them. I wonder if she will grow out of this childlike manner of speaking by the end of the story, or else at least mature a bit.

My one criticism for you is that the Marauders seem to all be characterized in their sterotypical ways. Remus is bookish, James flirts with Lily and jokes with Sirius, Sirius is a prankster by heart, and Peter is sort of in the background trying to be cool. Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but remember that all four Marauders have bigger personalities than just that, and maybe add more to their characters. It's just the first chapter, of course, so I hope to see more development on their part as the story moves on :)

You have a great start to this!

-Naida

Author's Response: Hi Naida, thanks for an awesome review :D
I have a really massive plan for the whole orphan-orphanage thing so yes I think it will go somewhere! :P

Marlene was quite a hard character to initially figure out because we know so little about her, and I had a kind of fanon opinion of her character. I wanted her to be quite silly/goofy and very popular but without realising it. Then there's another aspect to her, all the terrible things that have happened in her past. I believe she uses the jokes and sarcasm as a wall to hide behind.

Yes, thanks for pointing out this. I have been concerned myself; I didn't just want another girl mooning over Sirius Black...But I will work on wha you've said.
Thanks so much for a lovely review! LWG x


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