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Review:ravenclaw_princess says:
I find it amusing that Chapter 1's title is xi which also means 11. Maybe it's just me.but anyway, onto your review...

I really liked the story so far. It's a strong and engaging chapter that really kept me reading. The was a real darkness about it, from the weather to the setting and the thunder and lightening, and then to the final paragraph. Poor Travis. I like you're brief history of the town at the beginning and about the Riddle manor. Many years on and it's still just as creepy a place as it was the day the Riddles died.

I imagine that the women was Bellatrix, but regardless, you characterised her insanity beautifully and I could sense Travis's fear, but also confusion about the Giant and the wand. She is so cold and that resonated in how you described her, in her words and that horrible laugh.

My only critique is that sometimes the metaphor's seem a little forced, or the description a bit overdone. There were a number of times I had to stop and re-read because the story seem to get lost within the details, or the flow was hindered. The one comparing the thunder to Giants was the one that really got me.

Overall though, well done on the first chapter. Grammar and spelling were really good. There was a nice pace and the story flowed well. Its a very good introduction and set such a dark tone.

Author's Response: Lol that is amusing... thanks for pointing that out, silly me. Thanks for your review, I really appreciate it, just sorry it's taken me such a long time to reply to it.

I'm delighted to hear that you enjoyed this and the characterisation, pacing and tone of the story, glad it came across that way. The imagery was very strong, I'll agree, as I was trying to really convey the strong image that was in my head at the time of writing it. I could see it as if it were on the tv screen, so maybe that's why it came across like that? I dunno lol. Thanks for the review, Bobby xx


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