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Review:Bobby Dazzler says:
Howdy, leaving a review for team bronze! :)

Gunna say in advance, I wish to god I hadn't read this with such a bad migraine cuz it was really distracting me from the words and it took me a while to actually click onto the plot behind the scene unfolding. I feel like a moron for that, boo migraine :(

I enjoyed this little snuff peice lol. Bad terminology, I'm sorry. Brain fried.

You had a very nice use of description throughout this and whilst second person narrative is not my favourite, you did a very nice job maintaining it throughout the story, so well done. I liked how you captured a lot of description and put very vivid and clear images in my mind, particularly the falling to her knees in the esence of his life (blood), that was good.

One thing I will remark on is that the only way we know it is the characters you've listed in the chapter summary is because of the chapter summary... :S Without names etc, you do add the mystery but I think given it's in second person too, it makes it a little more open to interpretation, rather than "yes, it's those three" in the readers mind. I could have envisioned it being any other character due to the lack of information regarding the characters identity beyond the chapter title, for example the era or a nod to a characters lineage etc. If it's just I missed it due to the migraine, ignore that and I give you permission to whack me about the head with a fish.

I did enjoy this peice though, looking forward to reading more of your stuff which I'm sure I will throughout the BvB battle :) Have a good one!

Author's Response: Hello! Sorry it has taken me FOREVER to respond to this!!

I imagine that, as confusing as this story already is, it would have been slightly boggling with a migraine. I can't believe you were even in a state at all to read fanfic, hehe, when I get migraines I'm sick in bed all day. That's quite impressive dedication ;)

Also, don't be hard on yourself because this piece is confusing! This was my first real go with second-person, though it did come pretty natural. Someone running away from the law for murder would tend to identify with their outside world if they couldn't retreat within themselves. The moment Rose does it becomes overwhelming and she becomes a little crazy.

I know the piece isn't exactly character specific. That's something I've been working on with my writing. I did talk about red hair and teddy being a metamorph/werewolf but it was verrry subtle so there will be no fish-smacking from me :P

Thanks so much for the review, I appreciate it, and though it's months and months later I hope that you did manage to feel better soon :)


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