Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:leannemariesnape says:
This is a cute one-shot, and I think it has a lot of potential! I thought that it was written quite nicely, however, I also think that it would be a good idea to separate some of the block of the first part into smaller sentences. I think it would help the story become more readable.

I like your style of writing, however, I noticed one tiny typo in that at one point there is a "my" rather than a "his". It was only a tiny little thing, though, so it wasn't a big deal.

I think it would be a good idea however, to add in some detail, maybe about how cold, damp and frankly uncomfortable he'd be, riding on a motobike for a few hours.

I really like the minimal dialogue that you have, which I think makes the piece very cute. With a good beta, I think you'd have a really adorable story on your hands. ^_^

Well done!

Leanne :) x

Author's Response: Thanks leanne, really happy you liked it. I think I will go back and split that first bit up, when I first saw how long it looked I thought I needed to change it as well.
Thanks for all your help on it as well!
-Lizzfizz x


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 308
Submit Report: