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Review:Violet Gryfindor says:
This is a great start! I liked how you set the scene, first by showing the murderer just before the killing, then switching over to the investigation - it was just like the way it's done in television and films, and that really added to the atmosphere of the story. For some reason, it made it easier to picture what the scene would look like because you followed that familiar format. What's amazing, though, is how you integrated magic into the criminal investigation - very "CSI: Hogwarts", and it showed a lot of great creativity on your part to find ways to make magic work in that process so successfully. :D

There was one sentence that I wanted to point out to you that didn't flow very well: he found something his team had missed, he had almost missed. It should probably be "that he had almost missed" or "he had also almost missed" or "had almost missed as well" - it needs another word in there to keep it from sounding like a fragment.

This was a chilling chapter. I still can't get over the violence of the crime - using all three of those things at once means a heck of a lot of anger. The blood I suppose makes the most sense because it was needed to write on the wall, but also strangulation and the killing curse? It could be overdoing things, but it also demonstrates how absolutely insane this murderer is - it reminds me a bit of Jack the Ripper, too, but with a magical touch.

Great stuff! I definitely want to read more of this, once you have it. A good murder story is hard to find in fanfiction, and it'll be really interesting to see how Harry and Ron work together as detectives. :)

Author's Response: Yeah, those television and films are my inspiration. I don't think I actaully watch anything else (beside Peter Andre - but that's a different story :P)

Thank you! I'm glad the CSI/magic worked.

I will go back to that sentence. Thank you for pointing it out to me. :)

Yes, the killer is crazy. But the blood won't make sense with the wall (next chapter...). Hehe. Jack the Ripper was wgo I had in mind when I wrote this!

Thank you! The next chapter is ready, I just need to send it to my beta. Get ready for a lot of mystery. :D

I love reading reviews from you, Violet!


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