Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Jet LaBarge says:
If you find writing cathartic it is well worth taking your time finishing the story. If your life is a little at loose ends now maybe finishing something will feel good.
A good story starts out with a good premise, which your story has. Then you have to develop it, see how it plays out. So far you are doing a good job of it. I do not like the "all sweetness and light" fluff. I do not think that is Rowling's universe or the real world. The all battles and trouble post DH stories are I think not what you see at the epilog. I think you are starting with a good mixture of both.
As I write this my wife is sewing with our 11 year old granddaughter, our $100,000 baby, born ten years after her parents got married, and after lots of fertility treatments. My daughter-in-law had plenty of time for the prenatal classes between the time she got out of school and the baby was due the middle of February, until the baby was born Christmas very early in the morning. It was the most unusual Christmas we have ever had, with an under 5 pound baby. I did not realize that there were baby clothes smaller than newborn. Same daughter-in-law had miscarriages and cancer.
I am writing a post-Hogwarts story, and well into the story, well past where I have posted, Hermione has a miscarriage. Here is a little section of the story.
James was wearing the jumper that Molly had knit for him for Christmas, and as she put James down Hermione noticed 3 small set of initials on the back, HJP JSP GMP. "What is this?" Hermione asked.
"I knit a new jumper for each child and grandchild each year" said Molly. "That is how I identify them, when they are tiny, parents and child's initials. Harry James Potter, James Sirius Potter, Ginevra Molly Potter. Sooner or later most of the jumpers are recycled, back from when we did not have any money and I could not afford new yard for everybody each year. I still like the idea that each jumper has some old yarn in it."
"I like saving some things" said Hermione. "I have a few things from my father we are going to save, so if I ever have any children" Hermione was beginning to tear up, then she started again "if we ever have children. I'm looking at this, and the photographs on the wall, and there isn't any evidence that I was ever pregnant."
Molly was slowly beginning to tear up, and she said "I never had a miscarriage, and none of the other daughter-in-laws had either. I did not realize how hard it could be." She took a small knitted piece out of her knitting bag, the back of an infant's jumper. On the back was RBW HRGW. She handed it to Hermione. "I was making it for your baby. I can't throw it out, Hermione. It's the only evidence I have of the grandchild we won't have. I look at it and feel so sorry for you and Ron and Jean." Molly turned to look at Jean Grainger, who was also beginning to tear up.
"You were making this for" Hermione looked at the back of the little jumper that would never be knitted. Molly nodded her head. Hermione just totally lost it, and broke down in tears into Molly's embrace. The two women embraced for a long time.
It's OK to use the emotion you feel in your writing. I am so sorry for you and your problems having a baby.

Author's Response: Thank you.

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 727
Submit Report: