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Review:AC_rules says:
First off, I love the way you started it. Throwing me straight in with the whole mention of the knife really got my attention. It's a really grabbing beginning, what with the talk of the girl and such... Staring from the killer (at least I assume it was the killer 0.o) was a really great way to set the scene and such a clever way of pulling the reader in.

'This guy is disturbingly accurate'- Now, don't ask me why but I found that line kind of funny. Not in a bad way, I actually thought it was really good -a little of Ron's personality shinning through even straight after a murder :)

I also really like the way they're sort of detached from what's actually going on. It's kind of crazy that people can see a dead body and not throw up (I know I would) but necessary for them to actually do their job. I love the writing on the wall too. I'm so intrigued. A really great first hooking chapter :)

Characterisation: well, there hasnt been much of either Harry or Ron yet but they seem pretty in character to me. Especially given this is their profesion I like how sort of... calm Harry seems to be. Malloy? Intriguing.

As for technical stuff, the most I could fault for you grammar wise is that a couple of times there were a few commas that seemed slightly unnecessary but the flow is great and there were none of those awkward sentences that you sometimes find, when you have to stumble and read the sentence again

Really good! I'm glad you request and feel free to do so again :)

(How did I do for my first requested review? -nervous-)

-AC

Author's Response: Thank you! I watch a lot of crime based TV shows, so that's where I get my inspiration from (I think I was watching CSI: Miami at the time. LOL.)

I thought that. I was like "It's Ron, I'll keep it. It's a Ron thing to say." :)

I think they'd have to be detached; their jobs would suffer if they were too emotionally involved in any way. They have to be calm.

Characterisation - good. I tend to struggle with Harry and Co. But this is for a challenge, so I dove in with Harry and Ron. :)

Malloy? It was the first thing I could come up with off the top of my head. I'm still thinking of a new name.

I'll go back and edit those.

Thank you again for the review!

Sam.


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