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Review:nan says:
It is the beginning of a good story, I want to know more. Problem is it is hard to read. Your spelling and puncuation need to be fixed.
Other than that, great beginning!

Author's Response: thnx i know my punctuation and spelling stink its just half the time im writing late at night on my phone and not on the computer. i just really want to get my story in. But I promise I will try my best to be better.

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