Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:makemeover says:
Back again!

And again the first thing I have to say is "aww..this was great!"

Seriously though, so cute. I think your characterizations are even better than the first chapter. We really got to know them even better.

I love the relationship between Victoire and Dominique. It was very natural, what you would expect between sisters. Dom can be fairly pesky but then they have an honest moment where they love each other, and then immediately go right back to playfully bickering and Dom making fun of Vic's clothes. It was a good balance.

I also like how you said Victoire felt no one moment where she knew she liked Teddy. It kind of just happened and she just noticed it but can' pinpoint when it actually happened.

The scene where they are actually on their date is great. It had a light awkwardness to it but they do a good job of covering up their nerves. I like how at the very end, Victoire ends up being the dominant one and Teddy is more reserved. They really complement each other, with Teddy wanting to wait and Victoire being so gung-ho. Normally, the roles would be reversed, but I like how you made the female the one to initiate it.

This was great, and like I said in the first chapter, it definitely flows right into the sequel with no hitches. Granted a few years have passed from now until the sequel, there were no dramatic changes in characterization that would make me wonder what happened.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your reviews. I really appreciate it, and I'm so so glad you enjoyed this story. I've been trying to improve it, and I'm glad that I've been reasonably successful! :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 235
Submit Report: