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Review:forsakenphoenix says:
I think writing a thirteen/fourteen-year-old girl is incredibly hard. There are a lot of social expectations and since I haven't read An Invisible Reality (I actually didn't see this on your author's page?) I'm not quite sure what "The Incident" is to which you refer. I am curious though as to why her peers are isolating her though, it seems pretty cruel for a young teenage girl to be going through. You definitely make me feel for her though and I really like her character, how she's trying to be strong and ignore all the jeering but inside, she's still a human with hurt feelings.

I found it cute when she ran into James and she got those butterflies in her stomach and how she wanted to hold onto his hand forever. There's something sweet and innocent about a young love, even if it's unrequited. I love how two words ("It's okay") can mean so much to one person. I'm glad she got the absolution.

It's somewhat sad how she watches James and Lily interact, knowing he loves Lily more than he could ever love her. But then she grabs hold of that tiny spark of hope and she holds on tight. I love your descriptions of what hope is, by the way. It was wonderfully described and it was something I could actually feel, you know?

I really enjoyed this one-shot. I think it was simple and to the point. You didn't use any unnecessary words which is nice (I'm prone to this myself, unfortunately) which made it a short, enjoyable read. I also didn't notice any spelling or grammatical errors which is awesome! My favorite part of well-written stories. ;) Nicely done!

Author's Response: I agree! It's doubly hard for me to write any person that's not my age (though that might be because I'm a terrible writer, but ahem... :P). My other fic got scrapped after I wrote this, but I decided to keep this one-shot to remind me of my first.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm so glad you enjoyed it- I understand that it might've be confusing to read without any previous understanding of the setting, but I'm still happy you liked it! :)

Yep. I wanted it to be short and simple (though my lack of vocabulary might have been a reason :P). Thanks again so much! :)

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