After your lovely reviews, I came to your author's page and after a quick glance, I saw this little gem just waiting to be read. I put it on a list to remind me to read it and a couple of weeks later, here I am.
The summary is what drew me to this piece to begin with, and then I saw Remus listed as a character and I knew that I had to read this. Remus and Sirius are my two favorite characters and I will devour anything written about them, especially if it's as good as this.
When I read something like this, it's hard for me to figure out what it is about my writing that draws you in because holy hell, woman, you can write. I actually hate second person but I didn't even realize I was reading a second person narrative until I was half-way through and by then, I didn't care.
There's something beautiful about the subtlety of the words you choose in that they certainly pack a punch where they're meant to. This story made my heart ache but it wasn't an outright, devastating angst.
Remus's reflections on Sirius - how he came back once before and so Remus was just waiting for him to come back. In the end, it was just a dumb piece of cloth that stole him from them. Then all the people who had left him and gah, poor Remus is always the last one standing. I just have so much sympathy for him as a character and you've done such a fantastic job delving into the grief that I think would cripple a normal person. Remus, he still remains strong though, and I just...my poor heart breaks, especially when he went to tell Tonks the news and he tried so hard to be brave and serious but the entire time he was crying. HE WAS CRYING. And then Tonks wiped his tears away and they kissed and...there is still hope! There is always hope.
I think this was my favorite line: "...wondering if it is possible to splinch memories as you Disapparate." It's just those small things I mentioned before that really make you feel. Splinching is painful but I can only imagine the memories that assault him, like this line because it's perfect and sums up the Marauders so well: "He is all that remains of twenty years past, of empty grounds and roaring howls and the nameless, endless love that you called friendship." Loved it, so much. Oh, and another small detail but when Remus has her arms around Harry, you say his arms are around Harry's broadening chest, and it's such an insignificant detail but it reminds us that Harry is still a boy who has many years to grow and he's already lost his whole family too.
The only thing I noticed was this sentence: "your keep your lips painfully drawn in a severe line." First your = you.
But I absolutely adored this story. You tell a lot in so few words and it's just perfect. Loved it. :)
Author's Response: Oh my gosh, I'm almost six months late with this. I am so, so sorry. I've had no time at all to sit down and give the longer unanswered reviews the time they deserve for a reply and this, especially, needs a huge amount of time dedicated to it.
It's funny - I used to read a lot of Remus and Sirius when I first started reading fanfiction but they've fallen to the wayside a bit in recent years. I suppose it's quite hard to find a well-written Marauders-centric story without OCs!
Thank you so, so much. I can't even comprehend what you've said because that's such an enormous compliment from somebody like you. I also hate second person but I really struggle with first and third was getting too confusing with all the 'he's' involved. I had no choice but the fact that you didn't notice must mean I didn't do it too badly!
I did want a subtlety to this. I wanted it to reflect who I think Remus is, someone very reserved and gentle and breaking inside. I didn't want it to smash anyone's heart to bits but maybe make them ache a little.
You know, I can't remember writing this at all and I've just had to reread it myself to see what I intended by all of this. Isn't that awful?
Anyway, I do know that I wanted some real, deep hope rooted in Remus that this unknown thing, the veil, might be something else and that he might come back. I wanted to get across this sense of loneliness and having nobody left and realising that slowly, which is why I brought Peter in to the equation.
Hope. I love hope. It's one of my favourite words ♥
I worked so hard on that line! I still can't stand it. I love the concept but trying to fit it into the second person was nigh-on impossible. I'm so glad that you pulled it out!
Not insignificant, not at all. I think it's so important to remember that he's just a kid and he's got so much to cope with. I think that gets forgotten sometimes.
Oopsie! I think I changed it but I will double check now. Thanks for pointing it out.
I can't even...yeah, I'm still kind of speechless by this review. I can't remember the last one that made me react like this did.
Thank you so, so much for taking the time to read this and then leave such a wonderful review. I appreciate it so much