And, I'm back again! :D I got so caught up on reviewing the last chapter in an objective light, I forgot one personal observation I had wanted to point out to you. And that is: I LOVED how you put in the date of Severus' birth: "ninth of January, 1960" - simply because it reminds me so much of my own fic, Hopelessness and how I too, dated it - January 9, 1971. Dates make me feel nostalgic and make the piece much more believable especially when these dates are accurate and from the canon. x3
Anyway, back to this chapter:
The start of the story seemed good. Five Slytherins gathered around a tree gossiping about soon becoming Death Eaters. It seemed normal an occurrence but since it was the end of the term, I would've expected to see more of Severus' Slytherin buddies. They were graduating from Hogwarts and starting another chapter so a class of Slytherins discussing their futures together would've been more fitting a picture. Or at least, some of the higher class Slytherins. I wouldn't have really thought of Severus willingly gathered among the more idiotic, lol. I'd picture him by himself rather than them.
Description was good, interesting enough and as usual, full of emotions.
Again, I didn't see anything major with the spelling and grammar so that's good. :))
For characterization, those five guys kinda reminded me of Crabbe and Goyle so I guess that wasn't odd at all. :3
"home with a spineless mother who hardly acted like a true witch, and a father who could have cared less about his son" - now this sentence just made me want to know what went wrong with him and his mother since the last time I checked, his mother loved him deeply. Although, I can assume that Eileen must've loved Tobias too much and consumed in self-pity and hurt, drowned herself in depression and forgot to tend to her son first.
"them without the brains to do it, or the nerve that Severus knew he possessed himself" - yeah, I had to chuckle at this sentence. Severus would do better alone than surrounded by a bunch of idiots. But then again, I suppose he didn't have much of a choice.
"It wasn't fair - it wasn't fair at all." This was a powerful sentence, really.
The flow of the story was good, it was consistent and had the same tone throughout. The first half was a bit dull though and had little depth, I felt like it was more of a filler for the second half.
I find the plot alright. The part where he thought he had the strong will of facing Lily and finally owning up but then at the sight of her and James, chickened out. This was very frustrating to me since he just gave up so easily like that. But it was very realistic and believable and that's what made it frustrating. I myself, tend to be overly confident and then cower out with a pathetic excuse. Severus is just human after all. And I understand how he wanted to make a change in his life as opposed to the miserable place back in Spinner's End. I think you have a good understanding of Severus and his appropriate responses to stuff.
So overall, I think this was a good take on his decision and a good addition to the story. It would also help if this were actually the 2nd chapter and Lily's the 3rd. It helps establish his character more. And yes, I am finally passing my judgement. The first chapter's Snake was not out of character at all. It was just different and needed a bit of a basic history to get used to it (like this chapter and the Birth one).
Anyway, thanks again for requesting, it was a pleasure reading.
Author's Response: As I've said before, the chapters are horrendously out of order. :3 Someday I may take it down and upload it again to get the proper order, but I'm simply too busy currently!
Keep in mind, of course, that more than seventeen years have passed since Eileen gave birth to Snape. :) She does love him deeply, him being her only son, but I think he would find it extremely degrading that she tarnished her pureblood status (and, by extension, him) in marrying a Muggle. And as for finding Snape alone -- he wasn't a loner. He had friends, just friends interested in the Dark Arts, as he himself was.
Thank you once again for leaving such long and valuable reviews!