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Review:Phoenix_Flames says:
Mikayla! :) I'm here with your review as requested. Eee, and I'm so glad you did. I loved this piece so much. It was wonderful. Absolutely precious. I thought it was beautiful, and let's hope I can give you some good feedback other than just a fangirl rant. :P

Anyways. So! This was such a great first chapter, and I can't wait to see where you take this. It seems so unique so far! But from what I can tell, all your stories that I know of are. I don't know how you come up with all your ideas. Stan in Azkaban, everything else. You are a master at original plots, and this definitely shows here. :)

I love how you started off the story. That was an absolutely beautiful description, and just so much came across in that description. It was gorgeous and uplifting, and you just wrote it marvelously! His daughter is precious, and it sent me back to my childhood years, really. It seemed somewhat nostalgic to me just because it made me remember those good years, the good days outside with your parents when the weather is great.

Your writing made it really come off the screen. I really felt as if I was right there. The entire chapter felt like this to me. :)

There was so much personality in it all with your word choice and also within his thoughts. I found it absolutely hilarious when you mentioned 'Leash Children.' Are you talking about the kids who have the little animal backpacks that have leashes as tails?! I see those all over the place. Hahaha, crazy kids. And perfect description. I thought that was hilarious and a really great addition to his character.

It was all fairly happy-go-lucky, so at the end of the I was surprised with the drastic change. But I love cliff hangers. :) And drama. So I loved that. It was a brilliant time to end the chapter, and you definitely had me wanting more!

Gah, it was all brilliant. The dialogue fit perfectly, and you actually made me miss my parents. :) The flow was awesome. There were never too many descriptions or emotions all in one part; you organized it perfectly so that there was a great balance.

This is super good, Mikayla! And I'm really loving it. :) I don't know what else to say because I don't know exactly what you're looking for, but I hope you found this helpful then! :) I definitely enjoyed reading this piece. :)

Make sure I come back for the next chapter. ;)

ILY, hun! :)

Author's Response: Drue! First thank you so much for taking time to review this for me. A big thing that I was worried about was that it wasn't very balanced and it didn't fit together. I'm glad that you brought that up. I'm glad that it brought you back to your childhood as that was something I was trying to achieve, but after reading it so many times it's hard to know if you're just convincing yourself that it's doing that or not.

Again, thank you so much for taking the time to review this for me. It was very helpful!
ILYT doll! :)


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