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Review:Jenna822 says:
Okay, the negative comments first, and there's only two so bear with me. I don't get the sudden attraction element. The whole "couldn't look away from her" suddenly finds her pretty such forth part. It just felt very ooc for Draco where the rest of the story he seemed very in character. It was almost like the same person didn't write that scene. Second, the phrase "disgustingly enough" seemed a bit offensive. If someone had said it, then it would be a character's cruel phrase, but in narrative, it was your own. And there's a dozen ways you could have illustrated that Draco didn't like the fact Blaise was considering guys for him, rather than such a mean term.

Moving on. The story was very well written. Your pace and sentence structure are grand. Your descriptions are very good without being over bearing and you're a very good writer in general. It was a pleasant read and I didn't find myself getting bored or confused (other than the part mentioned above).

You made very good use of the raspberries and making them an important element of the story, so full points on that! Winners won't be out until December of course. Lastly, thank you for entering! :) --Jenna

Author's Response: Jenna822,

Oh my gosh! I didn't, at all, mean it to be offensive! The story, while being in third person, was in a very irrate Draco's POV, and that was one hundred percent his opinion (though, it might have been affected by is irrate-ness). I do not, in any way, have a problem with slash at all.

Oh, and yeah. . .the whole sudden attraction was a bit much. Heh heh.

I'm happy to know that you thought the rest of it was well-written though. I did try on this one. :D Thank you so much for this challenge! Loads of fun. :)


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