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Review:Beeezie says:
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your requested review.

As you already know, mechanics are not your strong point. I'm going to try and point out the major issues.

- Misplaced capitals: There were several points where you capitalized random words in the middle of sentences. (Examples: 2nd paragraph, "I have no Problem with the Prince" and 5th paragraph, "than Finally, introductions were made")
- Misplaced commas: There were also several points where you had commas that weren't necessary. (Examples: 4th paragraph, "When the train, did finally stop, I stalked off of it" and 6th paragraph, "student disiplenary actions, when necessary")
- Spelling: I am not the world's best speller, but I picked up on "disiplenary" in the 6th paragraph and "Shakespear" in the 8th.

Beyond that... I'm not sure if your OC is Mary Sue, because I haven't read much of her, but I do think that she's coming across as exceedingly unpleasant. I just don't find her sympathetic at all. It's just a personal preference, but I tend to have difficulty with stories in which the main character is just relentlessly negative.

The idea of the diary is an interesting one, and I like the fact that you're portraying another Slytherin in their year. The grammar stuff is really the major thing, and I do hope that you can find a beta. I know how hard it can be.

Author's Response: Thanks For the review, I'll work on Grammar. As to my OC, she isn't going to be negative the entire chapter, just the first few chapters really.

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