Okay, so the ending of this chapter is the craziest in the world, because she's excited about having a good year, but the prologue...she was so sad! You are a genius, because I am hanging from tenterhooks and I'm almost wary about reading the next chapters. The date of the prologue was 2020 and with this standing at 2019, I hate/love you a little bit more. You've managed to maintain this almost dark mood from the chapter before so well, by reminding us that things can't stay like this. It's almost too good to be true.
I really like Molly. It's not often that I do connect with characters as well as I do with her. There's something about her - something a little unsettled inside her. She's very likable, but I think too because we shared that intense prologue with her we as readers feel like we know her when she's experiencing such raw emotion. I feel almost protective over her. She has so much depth, like the beautiful description at the start, knowing she should hate London but looking forward to it all the time just to be disappointed. We all do it. Of course we do. But to have it written down like it is here makes her more three dimensional, more real. Everything about the way you build up the characters is simply stunning - probably your strongest point.
I wish I could write a remotely constructive paragraph, I really do, but to be honest, I can't. It's like trying to pick flaws with Mozart. There's no point, because there are none. Saying that, I read through each chapter as I would a story in a book, and then I base my review on that. I'd rather not take the English Lit approach - I try to get away from school as much as I can :P Maybe there are typo's I've just missed, maybe a few grammatical slip ups. But to be completely honest with you, I wasn't looking for them, because I knew there was a high chance there wouldn't be any. With your writing it's about slipping into the atmosphere and the beautiful story you create around me. And still...flawless. You need to publish something. Anything! I want more people to read the wonderful things you can let us build with your words and our minds.
A really amazing 'first' chapter. If you had had this standing alone, without the prologue, it would have been just as brilliant, but that sense of foreboding really finishes this off. It was just so vivid and wonderful. I mean, typing this review now with the tiny snippet of the end of this chapter above the typing box, I can spot 100 things I love about the finishing paragraph. A dark, lopsided beanstalk. My favourite, I think. I can picture everything, and I love that you've allowed me to. You're a wonderful writer, Rachel!
Again, I can't wait to read more! Laura x
Author's Response: I think the opposition in her character between this chapter and the prologue is hugely important and I really wanted to get across exactly how much she changes over the course of the nine months, both in herself and in her attitude.
Hahaha, I'm really sorry but you're probably looking ~chapter 40 to get any actual answers. It's the double perspective thing. It's completely messed up the story length so I'm in January and on chapter 26 at the minute :P I didn't really intend that to happen. It's a lot of ramble but I'm very glad you picked up on the prologue overshadowing this chapter; I really wanted that to stay in the forefront of people's minds.
I've always had it in my head that Molly should be very, very human. I tried to pull her traits from her grandmother, mainly, but she's very much her own person. Protective is very good; I feel quite protective of her in terms of the way I write her relationship with all the characters. I do try not to mess her up too much. She does have some elements to her that have been snatched from me which probably helps her humanity a bit: the nervous playing with jewellery that you pointed out in the prologue, especially, is lifted straight from me :P I also hate London and I build it up every time I go then BAM, traffic and smell and noise and people and I hate it. Of course, she's way nicer than I am and a lot softer than me too. I probably have more Seb elements than Molly elements in me :P
You know, I always think that if someone can look past the typos and the grammar issues, I've done something right. I love reading something where I can overlook the slip-ups in the grammar and spelling because everything else makes up for it so if someone says that about my writing, I feel like something of a success! Atmosphere and setting and making the reader feel involved is top of my priority list when I write; I get sucked into writing it and I want others to feel the same way when they read it.
It did used to stand alone, actually, in a pretty different format to this one. I went on such an editing spree the other day! Oh God, did I really write that?? Maybe I need to do another edit. That's a horrid line!
Thank you so much, Laura! I honestly can't quite believe this could ever get such a lovely review.