Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:tangledconstellations says:
Hey! Sorry that I didn't get round to reading and reviewing last night. Somehow, whenever you make plans online, real life always seems to get in the way in one way or another.

This, however, was fantastic. A prologue, not even 1000 words, and yet you've set up the tone for this story so wonderfully. It's thick with tension and with hurt, and yet beautifully so. The setting is mesmerizing - you've painted it so well - and I feel as though nothing is lacking to this. I love your description. It's so subtle. It compliments your dialogue so well.

As a reader, you often assume things. You read the summary, or the blurb, and arrive at the first few paragraphs with an already supposed view, and you keep that in your head until things start to unravel, and you can perhaps be corrected, or your thoughts are affirmed. With this though...I'm envious at how well you shroud this in mystery. We know it is Molly. We assume it is also Seb. But everything else...it's almost a haze, a panic, just like she is packing her things away we too are trying to piece everything together. I love how you've done this, kept us completely in the dark. To me, this is exactly what a prologue should be. This deprives me almost, making me want to sink into the story all the more but still addressing what is to come.

Her flight, or rather, failed flight, is beautiful and yet so sad. When reading this I felt within me too like she needed to get away, and I don't even know what from. Just your amazing writing! The way she fumbles with her necklace, listens carefully too often. You've hinted at foreboding things, such as with 'You just have to promise that you won't tell them where I am.' - and I think the way you build this up so steadily, that 'Seb' (as I can't be certain it is him) is untrustworthy and a crooked character, is so exciting and so, so clever. I can't praise you enough!

I couldn't not review this, basically :) It was wonderful. It would have made my next chapter review a stupidly long length haha! I really can't wait to read more; you've left me itching to find out what Molly decides, where this story takes me, and why, because for some crazy reason I feel like I'm right, she's the victim. I hope this restores a little confidence in this - I'll try and make my next reviews a little more detailed and constructive - sometimes it's very hard not to just get overexcited and ramble when reviewing your writing!

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Lauraaa - how do I even START?? Thank you so much for leaving such detailed and unbelievably lovely reviews. Real life has a tendency to do that - it always happens to me.

This prologue is probably one of my favourite pieces of writing of my own. It's probably just over 2 years old now and that's so difficult for me to wrap my head around. I never like anything I write for very long but this has really stuck with me as a real turning point in my writing.

I wanted this opening to do all those things you mentioned, really. The actual start of the story doesn't have much of that so it was really important to me to get across the eventual aim of the story. I wanted there to be an underlying passion and certainly a level of tension between them that we don't see when Seb and Molly first meet.

Mystery was important too. I didn't want to give so much away that it made reading the story pointless, but still wanted to grab the reader and make them feel some sort of pull towards the characters. Hopefully as the plot comes together, people will be able to see the parts that are important in the prologue and the lead-up to it.

She's feeling very up and down at that point, I think. It's a hugely emotional time for her and she is so scared - though what of, I'm never sure. It is Seb! Two years on and I STILL haven't made that clear; there's just no natural place for it to fit in :P

Thank you so much, lovely. You really didn't have to review this but it means the world that you did and were so kind about it. I love how you used the word 'victim' - I'm definitely going to keep that in mind!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!


xx


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 379
Submit Report: