Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Princess of Paris says:
Hey princessOFparis' for your requested review!

First off, I think this was a very well written portrayal of Phineas, considering you don't usually write this sort of genre. I admit, I was not very enthusiastic about reading a non-romance fic, but you won me over. I especially like how you mixed sort of the canon personality of Phineas with some original thinking.

On your spelling and grammar, it is very good, though this line: "that being human and all fine" from your last paragraph is a little confusing. On your layout, remember to skip a line for your paragraphs, there were a few that were adjoined.

One thing I think could be improved is your concluding paragraph and scene. What you have currently seems a little forced. I would recommend bringing some closure to the last scene by emphasizing Phineas' walk back to Dumbledore's office. One way this can be accomplished is switching your concluding paragraph with this bit from your second-to-last paragraph:

"Shaking his head and still sniggering quietly, he made his way back to his Hogwarts portrait, ready to inform Albus Dumbledore that Sirius was indeed present in the house, though he didn't seem too happy about it."

Overall, I loved the characterization and the tone of this chapter. Phineas' attempt to justify his attitude is smashing. Good work! 9/10

Author's Response: Hi!!

Thank you for your review!! I am glad you found it good overall.

Your comments are very valuable and appreciated! I will edit it out right away! Thank you for the helpful review once again :)


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 670
Submit Report: