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Review:iheartzuko says:
Oh, one review until thirty? okay ;)

One thing I would have liked to see in this chapter was them being more /together/ (not in a romantic sense, but more of a friendish or /them/ sense) but I knew that wasn't going to happen, so it's alright. The way this chapter specifically is written is practically mind-blowing.

I'm extremely jealous of the way you can add in dialogue without it becoming tedious or irreverent. Somehow, you make the talking seem more like an extension of his thoughts than anything. It's absolutely incredible.

The way he pulls himself away from her is perfect, because we all knew it was going to have to happen eventually.
"And then you are gone and I am free of you."
This line is my favorite in this chapter. It's poetic, and it sums up pretty much the whole story to this point in eleven words, which is quite the feat.

I can almost feel the /pain/ in this line, speaking through Teddy's thoughts.

-Brielle :)

Author's Response: Oh, only a month since you left this review? My apologies.

I really, really wanted to write them having a massive kiss sesh (well not /really/, but I understand what you mean about having them more together and /in love/) but I thought it would be better - seeing as the story is narrated from Teddy's point of view - if she still retained some sort of distance, that there wasn't /closeness/ between them.

The dialogue was a challenge. I didn't want it to overpower anything, especially the description, so it turned out a little short and simple and in some places, a little cliche (see the chapter where she dumps him). I wanted it to merge with the writing, and I'm glad you liked it.

Well, he says he is /free/ of her, but is he really? Victoire doesn't seem like the type of person who would /really/ let Teddy go. All her ex-boyfriends/lovers are probably still infatuated with her, and she could probably skip back to them and they would accept her in a heartbeat. I'm glad you like that line though - it was a bit of a summary, ending line, sorta thaaang.

Thanks for the lovely, lovely review!


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