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Review:Beeezie says:
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your requested review! :)

So I found this story very interesting, and on the whole, I thought it was quite well-written. You definitely conveyed his hopelessness and desperation and confusion very convincingly.

What I liked less were the transitions. They were very choppy and abrupt, and it was difficult for me to figure out exactly what going on. I wasn't sure why Ginny had abandoned him, and I definitely didn't understand how Ron and Hermione had done so (or if they even had done so, since they weren't acting like it). On some level, that confusion is a good thing because it helps get the reader into Harry's mind, but it's only good in moderation. It kept me from really fully identifying with Harry's emotions because I was too busy trying to figure out what was going on. At times I was even wondering if we were seeing flashbacks. Does that make sense?

On the whole, it's a good story. I think it could be great if you made it a bit clearer and smoothed out the transitions a bit. :)

Author's Response: Hey! I've sent you a PM addressing your issues, so I won't rehash that here. :D

Thank you for taking the time to leave a review, I really do appreciate it very much!


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