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Review:leannemariesnape says:
Hello! Here with your requested review!

This was a really good opening chapter! I have been meaning to read this for a while now, anyway, so I was quite pleased when it popped up.

I thought that the start was really good, and I thought it was really sweet how Lily was so pleased about Sev asking her out. I also liked the uncertainty as to whether Sev felt the same way about her. I think that's a thing that many girls go through!

Dorcas seems like a really interesting character, too, and a good friend to Lily, also. Plus, I liked how Lily figured out that Remus was a werewolf. It shows how bright she is. Remus' constant worry that she's given away his secret was also really interesting, and it makes me wonder whether or not that is going to be an issue in the future.

James' little note made me laugh. It shows that he's still kind of immature, doesn't it, but at the same time, it gives him a sort of boyish charm. :D

I know you asked for crit, but I'm finding it hard to do so. Your flow and grammar were excellent, so no complaints there... The only thing I can think of, is that I was under the impression that Lily disliked James from the first year, however, I'm not sure whether that impression was fanfiction induced, haha. Also, I'd be careful not to make Lily perfect, however, I don't know how you've written her in later chapters, so I can't really comment. ^_^

Hope this was useful! :)

Leanne

Author's Response: Thank you :) I'm so glad you liked it! I think a lot of Lily's hate was ff induced, though she didn't like him every much at the end of O.W.L.s year, but she'll be in that mood with him by then ;) Thank you for the wonderful review :D
~Lily


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