Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Sam says:
unfortunately. you've fallen off the wagon. Half the things don't make sense. What happened to the new class? The new teacher? Dumbledore and Moody taking classes? Why Harry needed his broom to go to Hogsmeade I'm not sure, but he left it there. I'm a bit over it. Individually they're ok. Coherent whatever. But there's no flow to the story as a whole. AT ALL

Author's Response: There was nothing relevant to the story in those classes that day. But you're saying the reader would expect classes there and it felt wrong to jump forward? Only the GMK class teacher will be relevant later but I felt I had to say who was taking over the defence class but that won't be relevant to the story.

The broom was only for speed. Harry was supposed to be tailing Godber & Brisking but they were far ahead and it is a long way. Once there, I knew Harry couldn't keep the broom or he could have escaped.

Maybe the lack of flow is due to my writing the story in separate sections and inserting them where needed like a jigsaw puzzle.

Well, your feedback is greatly appreciated Sam and gives me a lot to think about for future writings. The next chapter is already submitted so should appear in a few days. I hope you stick with it!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 608
Submit Report: