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Review:Beeezie says:
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your requested review!

Characterization:
- You've cast Molly in a different light than I've typically seen. Making her a great Quidditch player is an interesting choice, and I think you've pulled it off perfectly. She comes across as intelligent, hard-working, and enthusiastic. I believed that she had the skill you're presenting her as having, and it didn't feel contrived or forced to me. She's a likable character.
- I also liked the way that you made Lucy so different from Molly, but did not use that to set them against each other. They come across as having different priorities for themselves but being very supportive of each other, which I think is quite realistic.
- Percy/Audrey: I like Molly's relationship with her father so far, but I wasn't convinced that he'd undergone enough of a change since the end of the books. It's been, what, 20 or 25 years? He doesn't seem much different, and while sometimes that works, it seemed a little unrealistic to me. I also wasn't convinced that his wife's always running late shouldn't be a problem for him (if that makes sense). That said, I didn't have any huge problems with how it's presented - for Percy and Audrey, these are just vague initial impressions that could easily be reformed in the next chapter.

I think that so far, your pacing is perfect. Don't change a thing.

I really enjoyed this chapter. Please feel free to rerequest! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for the review!

I'm really glad you like the characters for the most part. And as for Percy, hopefully I can develop him more as the story goes on. I was hoping he didn't come off too one-dimensional, but I do see him being (on the surface, at least) very similar to how he's portrayed in the books. Hopefully it will seem more realistic as I write more about him :)

I so appreciate your thoughts. This was a very helpful review :)

--Maggie

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