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Review:academica says:
Hi there! I have arrived at last with your review! :)

So this was a pretty unique challenge, and you've done a good job responding to it. I really liked your characterization of Phineas, as he seemed just as haughty and self-serving as a Black is expected to be. It was interesting to reflect back on Phineas's life in his "glory" days as a Headmaster. I also thought the parallel between him and Sirius, who were both imprisoned in different ways, was an interesting idea.

Your phrasing is a little awkward, I must admit. Sometimes I feel like you add in too many words to a sentence or you go the 'round about way of talking about something, like, "Edgy who was currently quite uninterested to partake...". That might sound a little less cluttered if you were to say it like, "Edgy, who sat in his chair with a glass of wine and refused to partake..." or something like that. It just feels as if your writing is a little too stiff, but that's just a matter of opinion. I also think it would have been nice to add in some more imagery and really set the scene, but again, just my opinion. I didn't see any technical errors, which is wonderful! :)

Nice work! Thanks for requesting, and as always, I hope my feedback is helpful to you :)


Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you so much for reading and leaving a review :)

I am glad you found it a good job, and an interesting read.

Hmm, I value your comments and will keep that in mind when/if I do an edit!

Thanks once again! Your feedback is definitely helpful!


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