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Review:Phoenix_Flames says:
Hello there! I'm here with your review as requested. I am so sorry for the incredibly long wait. Please forgive me for that. But I finally made time to stop by, and I'm so glad I did.

Really great start, I think you have here. Really great job.

I saw in your post at the forums that you're gradually introducing your characters, and I think this is a great approach and you have done so brilliantly. I think this is the best way to introduce your characters; you don't want to bombard your reader with all these introductions to an overwhelming extent, so I'm glad you opted not to do that. And as such, I think within this chapter you have a great start to it and a perfect pace.

I love how you began the story with the action rather than the inner thoughts. Instead, you began it in a captivating manner. Right off the bat, there was something going on that was enthralling and really pushed me to read further. Also in this time, you took hold of the opportunity to introduce Molly's character to us in a subtle way all of your own.

She seems like a great character. I like your portrayal of her already. She seems unique and just overall brilliant. While reading, I could tell in some instances that she is definitely her father's daughter. A little bit of Percy peeks into her character, and I think that is good, but she also has some traits that I think make her defiant of her father. Another thing that I think is perfect. Because when I think of Percy being a father, I think of a man who expects nothing but the best out of his children and pushes them to their ultimate potential. Here, is why I believe Molly can be such a great player, but the fact that you have made her an outstanding Quidditch player is another thing that sets her apart from her father. Because our first guess is that Percy would push for the books and library before hitting the brooms and Quidditch pitch. So I just love that. Wonderful characterization of her.

I loved the article that you showed us. You know, I've never read anything like that. A little news piece that showcases the talent of the younger generation and the anticipation of the next great players, but it happens in our world, so you think that it would happen in there. Nice touch. And also a great opportunity for us to understand just how great of a player she is. And then her thoughts about the whole situation and her father were voice perfectly and completely in character I think when she was talking to her sister.

Lucy and Percy are two other characters I think you have done brilliantly. They really go very well with the story. Lucy seems like a cute girl, and from what I can tell, Percy seems like just the kind of man I would expect for him to be.

So I think you are off to a brilliant start! Molly's thoughts seem to flow one and the same together, creating a great personality and also setting the tone for the story. I think you've done a really great job with it.

Brilliantly done! I hope this review was somewhat helpful to you! Thank you for requesting.

Because my queue is currently huge at the moment, I am going to empty it out, and then I will return for the next chapter. However, if you haven't heard from me within the next day or two, feel free to come request again! Thanks!

Drue

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for this review! And I don't mind the wait at all. Life happens, I understand that :)

I am so glad you like Molly, and I'm especially psyched that you saw her Percy-like qualities coming out. I really do see her as being so much like her dad, but with a different focus.

I'm also really glad to hear what you thought of the very beginning. Originally, I had it so that the article started things off, but I took another reviewer's advice and added something before it. So I'm especially glad you liked that part!

Thank you so, so much for your review! I'm so glad you could get time to read this, and especially that you enjoyed it! I hope you can read on, when you get a chance :)

--Maggie

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