|Review:||Violet Gryfindor says:|
I'm so glad that I caught this on the recently added list - seeing your name on it made me click right away, and I had to actually go back to see what it would be about, but Remus/Tonks + angst +you as author was a very healthy equation. ;)
You write Remus very well - I never would have guessed that this was your first time because you captured his personality and sadness as well as the depth of the connection he had with Sirius. You even include his bits of selfishness throughout in the way that he primarily thinks about his feelings and what he has lost - even with Tonks, he's thinking about what he needs, and that reminds me a lot of Remus in DH. You capture many aspects of his character in this one-shot, and that's wonderful to see.
Your sentences are so lovely in this story. They have that kind of flow to them that moves the narrative along gracefully and yet at the same time intensifying the angst. There's so much emotion here, as represented by all of those "ands" - Remus's thoughts and feelings are overwhelming him so that, at times, he loses track of what's going on around him while, near the end, he focuses everything on Tonks. All of this emotion lets down his guard when he's with her because she's the only one who can understand what he's lost with Sirius.
I would love for this to be canon. It feels like it's straight out of the books, even with the second-person narration (but it draws one closer to Remus and, as an added bonus, prevents pronoun confusion with Sirius :P). This is the best way that I've seen someone bring Remus and Tonks together - it's beautiful and natural. The angst fades away when they're together, and it gives Remus a happy ending, if only for a short time.
This is another fantastic story of yours. Beautifully written, spot on characterizations, and dripping with wonderful angst. Your stories are always a wonderful treat and this is no exception. ^_^
Author's Response: I never know how to reply to your reviews, Susan. If I'd been actually talking to Marina rather than typing to her, I might have deafened her after I saw this.
I always find it quite strange when people mention my characterisation because it's not something I ever think about before writing. It always sort of happens and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Remus is someone I've never had much of an interest in writing before, even though I like him as a character and him and Tonks as a couple. When I started this, it really struck me that he's lost so many people and to lose one of his best friends twice must have been absolutely heartbreaking for him.
There's certainly a selfishness to him that I wanted to bring across with Tonks because if I wanted this one-shot to slip neatly into canon, I'd have to find a way to show that he's not about to drag her off and elope :P I wanted him to need someone but not think about how that would affect that other person.
Oh the 'ands'. It's a bit of a habit of mine, actually. That and 3 sentences on the bounce that start with 'perhaps...or perhaps...or perhaps' (occasionally 'maybe' does the trick too!) I'm glad it works, at least, because I am trying to tone them down.
I never imagined Remus to be someone who loses control in front of other people and that's what I wanted Tonks to be: this someone that he's never really appreciated before now but that he feels comfortable with in a way he's not felt for what I'd imagine to be a long while. She understands and she can see what it's doing to him and that was really important to me in this.
The pronoun confusion was actually the reason I did it :P I don't like second person - people pull it off wonderfully all the time but I don't like it - but the 'he's' would have been way too confusing for everyone and there was no way I was writing this in first person.
Exactly, though Remus will of course bring that angst back when he comes to accept Sirius has gone and 'realises' what he's done and who he is and why they can't be together, as we saw in canon. I sort of wanted to show the potential that these two had and why they fit because I do love them together.
Thank you so much, Susan! I'm still struggling to wrap my head around this. It's probably not a very intelligible response but I hope it'll do!