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Review:Roots in Water says:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

I think that this was very well done- I've never thought to write a story based around the quidditch pitch, but you really made it work.

I really enjoyed how you mentioned that the quidditch pitch was more than just a place to place the game. I found it touching that it was also the place where people would go to cry and rage at the world- it was, as you mentioned, their sanctuary.

These aren't grammer errors, just personal opinions to help the flow and feel of the story, so feel free to ignore them. :) Firstly, "to lots and lots of" feels out of place with the story. I would use "many" instead. As well, with "was too far away to run back up there" I would use "was too far away to reach" instead. The flow of the first one feels awkward to me. With "all too impressed" I would add "by the reason" at the end to help create the impression that the pitch is alive and to complete the sentence. Finally, with "Blood spilt and head injuries occur", you had a really nice rhythm happening (come and go, make-up and break-up) that I think should continue with this pair. I would take away the "head" from the sentence or switch "head injuries" with "concussion".

I think that this story was the perfect length. It wasn't too short- it covered all the points it should have to make this effect.

I really enjoyed this story- I think you used the various qualities of the story to great effect and I think that your ending fit wonderfully with the rest of the story. Thanks so much for requesting a review and I hope my comments were helpful.

Author's Response: Hello!!

Oh really, wow thank you so muhc :) I didn't expect many people to tell me I "made it work" as I struggled alot with the inamation of the story :/ It's not easy -sigh-

I didnt want the pitch to just be there for the Quidditch Season, I wanted it to have life, character, a soul as I said in the story. I wanted it too be... alive :P lol I wanted it too be like a home away from Hogwarts in a sense :/ Poeple went to Hogwarts (Harry) to escape the life that they lived at home, so where would the people who had a semi/natural/Brilliant(Malfoy) Live at home go when they needed an escape from Hogwarts? TO the Quidditch pitch of course.
I also added the part about the frouteen students not knowing the stuents because I thought it was different and a slight be strange that people who didn't play Quidditch or go to it, fought to protect it. :/ That sounded stuck up ... sorry.

Your Issues :P Were fixed lol. They where parts that had been pointed out before and when I re-read them it made alot more sense so I went with it, lol.

I am so glad you liked it :) and all your comliments have gone to my heart making me all giddy and happy ^_^ Thank you soo much for your lovely review, it means alot too me!! *inserts heart here*

~Karni. xx


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