I just have to say that first off, I've been looking around to read this story after seeing that banner at TDA. I mean, the name just immediately caught my interest. Broccoli? What kind of story has that title? I immediately became intrigued, just from that.
Now, I don't really remember who Eloise was in the books. I guess she was a 'Puff since she's in the same house as Justin? Sorry I can't help you much with her character, but I can say I like how you've written her in the fic, regardless. Same goes for Justin.
I did read over the first chapter to get a better feel for the story and Eloise, and I have to say I do like how you've written her flaws and struggle with her appearance. She's easy to relate to, and she's written in a very realistic, human way.
As for chapter two, I don't find it to be dull or boring at all! I actually like the way you wrote in the origin of her nickname. Because, let's face it--it's just not a nickname you hear everyday (just like Justin mentioned)! There had to be some kind of story behind it! And, there was. It was very cute. I had no problem with the fluff, but I guess if you feel it's too fluffy that's totally your call. Improvement is also your call, but I didn't see anything in particular that was even remotely cringe-worthy or bland about it.
I think I'll be keeping an eye on this story for updates.
Author's Response: Hey, hope you're having a nice day! :)
Oh, you saw this banner on TDA? Oh, haha, I would have been intrigued too. And I know it sounds unique and whatnot, but to be honest, it wasn't really creative- 'Broccoli' was actually the cue I got, so I decided to name the story that so that I'm forced to make the food item important enough for the challenge :P. Yeah, it wasn't that creative as it seems.
Hmm...you don't remember Eloise? She didn't appear in the books, although there were a few references here and there. Like in GoF, Ron says that he would rather go alone to the Yule Ball than with 'Eloise Midgeon'. It isn't really known which house she belonged to, but I put her in Hufflepuff, so that she could be closer to Justin. :P
Thankyou! :) I'm so glad you liked it! I've always wanted to write about her, and when I did, I tried to put everything *I*'ve ever felt to make it more real. :)
You didn't? That's such a relief, truly! :) I won't have to write it again, at least. :P Hehe, yeah, it's a pretty unusual name, so I had to think up a good enough reason. I'm glad you found it cute! I tried to appear it that way, so I'm happy it worked. Yeah, this was the first time I had written an entire chapter that contained no plot whatsoever, so I was a little nervous. Improvement- trust me, I've tried. I rewrote this chapter several times, but it just keeps on coming out that way, so I suppose I'll have to let it be.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I hope you'll like the future chapters as well, if you come back! :)