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Review:Salem says:
Agnes from the forums, bringing your review! I will be reviewing the other two chapters, too, but started with chapter three since you put particular emphasis on it.

Ohhh, I like this. It's short and sweet and handles Ron's feelings very well, I think. I've never thought about how Ron felt about attending Hogwarts with Harry Potter--and the hero take is very interesting. Poor Ron, already met his childhood hero and didn't even realize it!

I think the characterization for all of the Weasleys is pretty much spot-on. The only thing that really bothered me was that even though it was from Ron's point of view, he didn't have much dialogue in the entire piece aside from a couple of 'shut up's. Characterization can show through a character's dialogue, and is just as important as internal thought. Ron always struck me as a vocal type of character, too, never afraid to speak his mind. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean his characterization is off or anything. I would just have liked to see some more speech from him is all!

And I think this is the only error I found: "As the twins switching to mocking Percy"--I believe should be "As the twins switched to mocking Percy."

Author's Response: Hey there :) Thanks so much for agreeing to review this! I really appreciate it!

There are a couple reasons I didn't give Ron much dialogue. Firstly, I was trying to keep it as canon as possible. We see much of this scene in canon, and Ron basically only says 'shut up'. He might have one or two other lines, but in the interest of keeping with the TOS for HPFF, I left those out. Secondly, I figured Ron was so focused on finding Harry, that he didn't pay much attention to what was going on around him, so didn't really have anything to say. When people get nervous, they often get quiet, and that's kind of what I was trying to do here. He'll definitely be a more vocal character in other chapters :)

Despite that, I'm glad you thought the characterizations were all right.

Thanks for pointing that mistake out. I went back and corrected it :)

Thanks again for taking the time to review all three of these chapters! I really appreciate it :)


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