Another review coming up for another great story :)
Again you jump straight in, and again you manage to grab the reader's attention right from the start.
"I need to get back." - BAM! A simple, but somehow powerful sentence that screams despair and sets the tone nicely for what is to come.
"He hasn't come through, he must be alive." - I can picture Lily looking around frantically for a sign of Harry, then see a flicker of hope appear on her face when she doesn't see him and concludes he's alive.
"But how? How could he be?" - Her face falls as the hope turns to doubt.
"Even putting myself between them won't have stopped him." Her shoulders slump in resignation, and I want to grab her and tell her it did stop him!
"I need to know that he is safe, that he is ok." Pleading with a touch of hope and determination. Maybe she heard me after all?
"Maybe it's being delayed, maybe he is being tortured." No Lily, don't lose hope again :(
"I hope he isn't, I can't bear to think what he might be going through." Her face screws up as if she's in physical pain as she imagines all the terrible things that may be happening to Harry. I just want to hug her and tell her everything is OK.
"He's just a child. My child." My heart breaks with hers...
You manage to evoke a rollercoaster of emotions and conjure up a flurry of images in my mind to accompany them. And this is just the first paragraph! It continues all the way to the end. The interesting thing is that it's a mix of both Lily's emotions and mine: as I read each sentence, I feel her confusion and despair as if it were my own, as if I were her. But once I've reached the end of the sentence, I kind of become aware of my own self, and knowing the entire story, my emotions obviously differ from Lily's. And that somehow makes everything even more heart-breaking, even frustrating in a sense, because I know that Harry survives and her despair is unnecessary. It's the same with the images. At first I see the scene through her eyes: whiteness, nothingness, memories flashing before her or rather my eyes. And then it's as if I'm standing next to her, seeing her surrounded by white nothingness, but she herself is clearly visible to me, as you can tell from my descriptions above. It's an interesting experience: that has never happened to me before when reading fanfiction and I'm not sure how you exactly you manage to make me feel and see that way, but you do!
Other random thoughts:
- Gosh, Lily is just too sweet for her own good. The way she considered that Pettigrew may have been hurt or tortured just makes me even more angry at him. He doesn't deserve her concern *cries* But of course it's totally like her to always try and see the good side in people, so great characterisation there!
- At some point in the first half of the story, not quite sure where anymore, I pictured Lily as having a very childlike look on her face. And then I came to the part where she says "I want my mum." and thought that was so sweet (yet heart-breaking). How did you know I'd be picturing her like that? Are you a seer?
- The bit about the reincarnation totally took me by surprise. Once again you managed to include a thought that would never have occurred to me. Now I'm wondering what would have happened if she had been reincarnated.
- I just realised: Volatile was about the last moments before death. This is about the intermediate stage between life and death. Will we be seeing a story about life after death from you?
Wow, this has gotten very long again. I usually never write such long reviews, you're getting a totally wrong impression of me :P
But there's one more thing I have to tell you before I sign off: I absolutely loved the way you drew a parallel to Harry's limbo experience by including the questions "Is it all in my head?" and "Is this real?"
Author's Response: Omg Pia, I love you more than in the last review!! :D I haven't been replying to it because I loved looking at it every time I checked my unanswered reviews! (Which I do several times a day :P)
Wow, I'm surprised just how much you could picture her just out of the simple, small sentences I used. While I was going for that effect, I never thought I could actually do it!
I'm not a seer as far as I know. Though I was asked that a few days ago too! Maybe I am... *hides* :P A story about life after death? Hmm, you will have to wait and see for that. *plot bunnies form in my head*
I don't mind long reviews! In fact, I love them!!! Thank you soo sooo so much!!! :D You had me in tears of happiness reading this! *hugs*