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Review:Remus says:
Hey! Its Perelandra from the forums with your review!

For a short one chapter fic, this is good. However, it felt like it still needed more. You have way too many one liners. There's not enough description and a lot of dialogue. There's just not enough description for a one shot because you're telling your entire story in one go. Also, this being a period piece, you have to keep in mind the "ideas" they had back then. As in Rowena would not be left alone for one minute for being the crown princess. Also, back then she would "save" herself for marriage otherwise...well, not a good outcome. However, I can see why you did it that way if you were going to kill her future husband. He would also not be allowed in her quarters though, unless they were properly married.

Grammar, you're fine with it as I did not see any issues.

Plot wise, a bit predictable but I enjoyed that you explored Ravenclaw's life before Hogwarts. However...now I'm curious as to why she left the "Royal Life" to help build a school. Or how her daughter handled the royal life.

Anyway, this was a good one shot with minor issues!

Keep writing!

Author's Response: Thanks a bunch for this review! I'm definitely going to take your advice into account and change some things up. It's so hard to get feedback on Founders era stories, and I'm really happy you read this. It was written for one of the staff challenges, so it was a difficult endeavor. I'll change some things up a bit, though.

The reason her world was more lax, it seems, than a normal princess's would be was actually her relationship with her parents--they gave her more leeway because of the way they got along. I'll have to explain that better.

Thanks again!

--Emily


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