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Review:academica says:
Hello! I have come with your requested review :)

I'm so happy I got to read a Dudley story. You know from my initial post that I cherish opportunities to explore underloved characters, and this was no exception. You did a good job of showing how overly attentive Vernon and Petunia are, and you also conveyed Dudley's greedy personality well. I loved how Harry magically fixed his own leg there at the end. It all stuck pretty close to canon except for one little thing -- I don't think Vernon would have been quite so cruel to Harry. I certainly think his behavior would have been similar to this, but I'm not sure that even he would insist on Harry going back out in the snow with a visibly mangled leg. In my view, he would have gotten his frustration out by griping loudly and complaining about Harry until the doctor arrived. That's just me, though :) It's a very tiny exaggeration; Vernon was quite awful to poor Harry!

The story flowed very well, and I didn't spot any mistakes with regard to grammar, spelling or punctuation, which is wonderful. It was definitely an interesting and believable piece, in my opinion. I would have liked to see a little more detail in the imagery just to fill it out; for example, you could describe Petunia's "horsey" features more specifically. Again, just my opinion, because I'm a huge imagery buff :)

Great job overall! Thanks for requesting a review, and I hope my feedback is helpful to you :)

academica

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review! I really appreciate all the points, and you're probably right about Vernon :P I just wanted to make him as horrible as possible haha :3 I definitely see what you mean about description - I enjoy reading very imagery things!
Thanks again, it was very helpful -

- Megan xo


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