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Review:Aiedail says:
WELL. Hello there. Me with your TGS review although it's been an awfully long time since you requested D: Apologies for that.

Cho isn't a character I am v. fond of. I don't think too many people are. But I think you write her well here, which is not honestly a huge surprise :P Your balance between description and dialogue is really nice--I like that it seems kind of effortless, like real life, because a lot of times things can get laborious between dialogue and description. But yours flows and sets up the intersecting lives of these three girls really well. I am a bit curious to know where Marietta is--since Cho was willing to go all nutso in the books in order to be friends with Marietta still I just assume that she'd be somewhere in her life. Things change though, and with your track record I wouldn't put it past you to leave her out and have it seem completely natural. Wouldn't either be surprised if you brought her in in a later chapter!

I love that Cho also comes off really Ravenclaw here. Not in, like, the fact that she's uber intelligent or anything, because being Ravenclaw is much more than that--it's having a kind of curiosity for life and a propensity to wonder at it, and that's beautiful here.

I wonder a bit about the characters--but know enough about them to know this isn't spotty characterization. Flow is your usual--perfect, if only in smaller snippets of a larger picture. I trust that you have the overarching sense of this story, because it always seems to work out even though we get more vignettes than scenes, per se.

Lovely work, dear, and I'm thrilled that you're working with characters other people don't seem to like to work with. (h)

Author's Response: HELLO THERE. -wink wink-

No worries, I wasn't very fond of Cho before this either, but I wanted to have a go at her anyway. Okay, well, I never actually bring in Marietta - as I figure, Marietta being so pro-Ministry and all, she probably cut off ties with Cho sometime before graduation (in my mind, anyway), especially when things began to look bad.

Oooh, wow, nicely put. Cho as a Ravenclaw definitely shaped a large part of how I characterize her - intelligent, but not overly so. The other characters all have more and more importance as the chapters go on; hopefully, their progression is shown well. Ah, vignette scenes. If only I knew how to write without them. :P

Thank you, Lily! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and review! :D


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