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Review:Sheriff says:
Hi there, was just browsing and I thought I'd drop a quick review. I like the plot and the idea a lot as it's given you a great deal of flexibility and potential to explore as the storyline progresses: it's certainly not clear what's going to happen next!

There's also just a handful of things that I'd like to suggest that could help make it even better and easier for the readers to follow:
* More description of the characters (height, size, face, hair...)
* Direct speech: who said what (can be tricky to keep track)
* Point of View: it does jump around a bit and I find the stories that hold my attention the best follow one (or maybe two) characters the most closely. I'm not sure who the main character(s) are here.

Author's Response: Hi. Many thanks for reviewing. If you read the short story (prequel) that I've started you will see who the main character is in this story.
There is another main character, but the identity is (for the time being) remaining secret for now. SORRY. I'm glad you like the plot and storyline, I'll try and edit and make the changes you suggest. Please feel free to read my other stuff and let me know what you think.
Thanks once again for taking the time to leave a few comments.

Regards
magicmuggle01


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