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Review:marissa lily potter says:
Hey there, I'm here with the review you asked for.

For your first fic, it was really good. Very unique and written well. It was obvious that the fic was plotted out and that's something I greatly appreciated. Your grammar and punctuation was good as well. Just a few places where commas were misused or could have been added but that's minor so no big issue.

I've never read a story like this before. You wouldn't expect that to happen to Ron, but still, it was very believable! I think you did a great job writing it. The characterization is most definitely fitting. You managed to capture the Ronald Weasley from the Harry Potter books, but in a non-canon way which is difficult a lot of the time, but done very well in your case.

I could definitely find myself believing this story. It fit in with everything going on. You did a very good job trying to keep it as canon as possible and still making it your own. The only thing I could really tell you to do is add in a bit more imagery and description. The descriptions were pretty blank, and there wasn't anything to imagine in your head.

Over all though, very good! I enjoyed reading the first chapter and I can't wait to see what you have in store for the next few chapters. This sounds like an interesting fic with much potential. Great work!

-marissa lily potter

Author's Response: Thankyou for such a helpful review! I've been writing more descriptions in my drafts but thought I was going on for too long so I deleted them! Will keep your review in mind for the future!
Thanks again :)


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