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Review:Lady of Tears says:
Since grammar was your first thing, I'll just go down the list of the things I found first.

As far as the rain and wind went; the night was however, still. - This doesn't really make sense structurally. 'As far' sets up a second half to the sentence, but you don't really give it. I'm not sure what the best way to fix it would be, but this didn't read right to me.
“the loud obnoxious rap that generally echoed from the over head night club was ceased.” - should be “had ceased”
“Silence greeted the two wizard” - wizards
“shaggy hair, Chasers were sly” - should be a semi-colon instead of a comma.
“No these blue hooded figures were of another group altogether.” - There should be a comma after no.
“Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy." The voice..” - should be: Malfoy,” the voice of a... In fact, it's a note about dialogue in general. When people speak, it's a comma, followed by a lowercase letter, unless of course it's a name.
“Show yourselfs!" - should be yourselves. Demanded should be lowercase, as well as he.

Ok, those things aside. I loved a lot about your writing style. There was great description and feeling in the way you wrote things. It was a great choice not to reveal who Draco and Blaise were right away. It really pumped up the tension and mystery. Obviously, I am fascinated by the originality of your story. I love seeing something I've never seen before.

I really liked it! I can't wait to see what happens next.

Author's Response: Hello ^_^ Welcome to the Bat Cave :D xx

All Grammar errors will be fixed momentarily ^_^ Thank you soo much for pointing those out ^_^ I wouldn't have found them if I went back over them :/

Writing Style? Ohh I have a style... good or bad :/ x oh phew I though it was going to bad for a second and I was going to die ^_^ I thought I would keep them hidden, it took me a little while to write the chase scene and get the wording right, I did ponder over weather to reveal them imddeietly, and start with something like "Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini" But when I read it first I though, nah Myab ekeep my readers in Suspense :)

I am very flattered and overwhelmed that you enjoyed this :D Thank you for all your help!! ^_^

~Karni,. xx


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