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Review:academica says:
Hey there! Finally here with your review :) I apologize for the wait; my schoolwork has eaten and continues to eat me alive!

I really like your pair of OCs. The contrast in their personalities during their initial meeting in the kitchen was really cute. I think you did a wonderful job of filling out both characters and using them to illustrate the issues that surely echoed across many, many friendships in the halls of Hogwarts during the war. In my opinion, the war is often moved off to the side in fanfiction, as many authors prefer to focus on romance and humor. That's a bit of a tragedy, since the war was such a big part of canon and provides an opportunity for really beautiful examinations like this one. I'll be honest with you, though; the continuous alerts from the sneakoscope had me thinking that Adrian was going to turn out to secretly be a Death Eater (well, thinking strongly about becoming one while still a student). I figured the guilt was over Eric having to kill his friend while on duty as an Auror. However, your ending really surprised me, and I liked it.

I think you did a fine job with the action sequences. They're not really my forte either, but I think you drew out the fighting appropriately and realistically and did a good job conveying transitions from one place to another.

As for the challenge, I definitely saw a sense of destruction in this piece, from the brief crumbling of Adrian and Eric's friendship to the shattering of the illusion of childhood/importance of schoolwork and beyond to the literal destruction of Hogsmeade. The sneakoscope was actually one of my favorite things about the piece; I think you really used it creatively to symbolize the growing atmosphere of fear that permeated the wizarding world during this time. I love how Eric's opinion changed, how it grew from being a useless, silly object to something he really treasures personally because it reminds him of his deceased friend. Very well done there.

Okay, I believe that addresses all of your specific points. Generally speaking, I didn't see any big technical errors here, and the thing definitely flowed well. I found myself devouring word after word, very curious to see what was coming next. The imagery you included was also really effective, I think.

Great work! Thanks again for another request, and as always, I hope you find my feedback helpful. Good luck with the challenge! :)

academica

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! There's no problem about the delay- I understand completely.

I'm so glad you liked my OCs. I wasn't too confident about them- I tend to find it easier to write about canon characters. I tried very hard not to make them "Gary-Stu-ish" and to create their own individual personalities. I'm glad that shone through.

Once I got the theme "destruction", war was an obvious choice. The sneakoscope definitely could lead you in that direction; I just thought it would undermine their friendship and that the war would provide enough distrust to make it realistic. I'm glad you still liked the story.

I'm happy the action sequences worked out alright. And yay!- you got both of the senses of destruction that I tried to put in. I'm glad that the sneakoscope turned out well. I tried to fit it in as much as possible without it seeming awkward or unsuitable.

Yes, that did address all of my points. I'm so glad you liked the story! Your review was definitely helpful- it reassured me on several points. Thanks once again for reviewing!


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