This was a really bittersweet fic to read, and I really enjoyed it. You began very strongly by describing the attic and the character at that moment in time. It helped to draw me in as a reader, making me want to read on. I also liked how they didnít meet and like one another immediately, because letís be honest, people rarely keep the friendships they make in their first year of ďsecondaryĒ school in reality, do they? It was a very cute meeting however. You develop the characters personalities and also their chemistry almost immediately. The pushy Eric and the slightly more reluctant Aidrian, which was very cute to read. I think you have a talent for description, as I could almost imagine being at Hogsmeade as the fire, and the torturing of the woman, and Ericís attack on the woman. (Out of interest, was that Bellatrix?) I could just see Hogsmeade in flames and the panicked people. Well done on that. Another thing that I really liked were the unspoken things in the story, for example, the ďItís not really youĒ itís your blood status line. I thought it was c lever to add that in because it was something that both were aware of but neither wanted to say. I must admit I was surprised and touched what Adrian did for his friend at the end of it all, and I think it said a lot about the depth of their friendship. I was glad that they made up when they did also. The ending was nice and it brought the story back into context and rounded it off nicely. If I could say one thing to criticise about it, it is that I found it difficult keeping up with which character you were talking about at some points, but it wasnít really a factor that really distracted me at all. I think that you created two very good characters, who seem realistic, and would fit into JKRís world, in my opinion. So yeah, in conclusion, there isnít much I think you need to improve on this fic, other than the general flow thing that I mentioned.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing!
I'm so glad you liked the beginning. It was the part of the story that really got me started (some might say "duh!") and gave me the idea. The kitchen scene was another thing that I just thought of spur of the moment- I definitely agree that people rarely meet all their friends on the first day.
I'm glad I developped (or at least showed) their personalities well. I was really worried about that, since I rarely create a completely new character.
I'm so glad you feel that way about my description. Sometimes it will just flow and other times it feels a little forced... I'm glad it turned out well in this story. I kept trying to read and reread it to help the flow. And yes, that was Bellatrix. :)
Yeah, there were some issues that I didn't want to express, because they were really sensitive (not to me, but in the characters' lives) and I'm so glad you think it was well done. As well, I'm glad (I'm saying this a lot, aren't I?) that Adrian's sacrifice worked out well. It was the possibility that worked the best for me when I was thinking about why Eric would feel so guilty, and, as you said, showed the depth of their friendship.
I will go back and try to clear up the characters- when you're writing in third person about two male characters, it can get a little confusing about which "him" I'm talking about.
Thanks once again for reviewing!