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Review:Iloenchen says:
Hello Celeste! As promised, here's your review.

I like the beginning of this chapter. The first two sentences were great because I knew exactly how Cho felt. I think everybody has had days like that, so everybody can relate to the beginning.

The idea of describing how the three girls take their lunch break was very good! It reminded me a bit of a movie, I've seen some where it was done like that and it works perfectly. You introduce all main characters and make it interesting at the same time. The flow here is wonderful.

And then the three girls meet up for lunch. That left me wondering a bit. Do they return to work afterwards? Or are they lucky enough to have each Tuesday afternoon off? Lucky girls! It seems a bit of a coincidence that none of them has to work that afternoon...

What I really enjoyed was the conversation between Cho, Hannah and Padma. It felt very real. The girls are gossiping and complaining about work and doing what I'd do if I had such a nice lunch break, too. ;)

I think you've written a wonderful first chapter. There are two ways of starting a story - right into the middle of action or beginning slowly. You've chosen the latter here and you're one of the few who can actually make it work. It was so well to read that I almost forgot to review before continuing to the next chapter - it just flows along so nicely. Great job!

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