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Review:Dilectio says:
I like it! You seem to have Hermione's character in place fairly well, but just dwelled a taddd too much on how she had suffered more than everyone else. Like, if it was in first person she would sound almost conceited. The way it goes through a few different characters and how they didn't suffer as much as her iskind of over the top. I can see how you utilized it to build up to the bit about Malfoy though. An about that, I don't understand how she could think that he feels exactly the way she does just by looking at his eyes.
A bit of constructive criticism there! Hope I didn't sound too mean :s Coz I actually really like this story so far! It's great :)

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