Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:forsakenphoenix says:
I'll be honest - I was a bit hesitant when I first saw your request because it was Severus/Hermione. I still don't know how I feel about it but since the relationship isn't a huge factor in the story yet, we'll see if it grows on me.

I think you did an excellent job describing the despair and devastation after the war. All the death and destruction. I felt Hermione's emotions which is always a plus when I'm reading a story like this.

I found it a little awkward how she went between calling him Severus and her Professor. It was a bit of a disconnect for me, I think. Perhaps you should remain consistent in what she calls him and thinks would flow better.

I felt bad for Snape because of how much he sacrificed and it makes me angry that Ron would call him a "greasy dungeon bat." Ron would know of Snape's sacrifices too I would think and would have a deeper respect for him. I'm curious though if Hermione will take that venom and blood sample and create "The Antidote" to bring Snape back to give him a second chance. :)

I also had trouble accepting the idea that Hermione would not stop to grieve with the Weasleys on her way to Dumbledore's office and not going to Fred's funeral. I get that she didn't want Snape to not have anyone there, but it just seems...not right for me. The Weasleys were like family to her and she spent summers with the boys so I just can't believe she wouldn't mourn with them at all. Also, Hermione staying in Snape's quarters is a bit odd too. I'm sure it's important to your plot but it just seems weird to me.

I think I noticed a few grammatical/spelling errors. I know at one point you didn't capitalize Teddy's name too. Aside from these issues, you had a fairly well-written, descriptive first chapter. Onto chapter two!

Author's Response: THank you so much for your input. ;) I know its not a usual start... but its just what I had to write when I sat down to do it ;) *HUGS*

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 176
Submit Report: