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Review:fauxthefox says:
Fauxthefox from the forums with your requested review! I'm kind of swamped right now (school just began), so I'm only going to review this chapter - but feel free to return to my page and request another review if this is helpful to you!

I really like the dialogue in this story and the dynamic between the characters. It's really natural and Harry Potter-ish.

Oh, poor James, caught in the eternal dilemna. :) I love the idea, but I think you could play up his feelings (especially frustration) a bit more, just to give your readers a real idea of what he's going through. I think that one of the important things about writing is that it gives readers a chance to understand/feel things they've never had to deal with before, and you have a really great chance to do this!

You have a few grammar mistakes here and there - I would just sift through it a bit if I were you. The only other thing I have to suggest is that you take some time to describe/develop your characters a bit more, so that your readers get a good feel of who they're dealing with here.

Great story! 8/10

Faux

Author's Response: Hi, thank you so much for taking the time to review, especially if you're busy!
Thank you, a lot of my other stories before this one were description heavy so I thought I'd best write a humour fic so I could work on my dialogue and stop it dragging on too much. And thank you for saying they sound natural, it's such a relief! Okay, frustration, I will definitely work on that! (I think the latter chapters show it more but I'll see if I can find a way to fit in in earlier in the story) Grammar mistakes, the bane of my life. I swear I am the worst at picking up on these things myself but in every other story! I always just end up reading my story lol. I'll go through them all again and see if I can pick them up haha.
Again, thanks again for reviewing! I really appreciate it! Alex :D

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