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Review:lemonpeeps says:
Good, full, chapter you had here, plenty of stuff to talk about!

I kind of felt that this chapter went all over the place, I followed along pretty well but some transitions between the common room/Hogsmeade/common room/Andy blast spells over her shoulder would be nice and make it much easier to follow. I'm really impressed with your writing, though, is rich and you put a lot into it (at least in this chapter) props again. I find though that I really don't understand Sirius, I don't know if you mean it like that or whatever, but I really wish he'd come to life a bit more. Also the same for Lily. She and Andy are best friends I think Andy should include her a little more in her thoughts, develope their relationship a little more.

Again I hope this is what you were looking for, and I hope I didn't sound too hard on you, because I really enjoyed reading it!

Happy Writing
lemonpeeps ox

Author's Response: I think I'll work on descriptions - I think that's what you mean about transitions, right? And I agree, that should help. And yes, I was thinking about Sirius just yesterday; I'm going to have to give him more character. I suppose that because Sirius is in canon and featured so much on HPFF, I kind of just assumed that everyone would understand how I perceive Sirius... embarrassingly bad mistake, that is. And I will be giving Andy's feelings about Lily a little more attention, hopefully.

Thanks for two really helpful reviews! :)


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