So I don't even know how to write a review for this chapter. Because my brain just goes "SQUE!" And any thoughts that I get down are not considered appropriate for the audience for reviews. But hey, once more into the breach...
I stuck my figurative foot right in my mouth and asked Oliver Wood if we were going to have sex—or what? Real smooth, Casanova.
- Oh yes, Jane the seducer appears again.
My vocal cords had failed me. Way to go, vocal cords.
- I love how Jane can be sarcastic, even in crazy out of body situations. As a girl who lives a life filled with sarcasm, I appreciate it.
Essentially, I just asked him to have S with me. I wondered what Ang would think of my sly moves. Did I even want to have S? Certainly not right at this moment, though the crowd cheering was encouraging. It wasn’t intimate or special or anything. It was us sitting on the sofa watching Quidditch. Well, it was him watching a Cup replay and me spazzing out.
- Sly moves. Great phrase. This whole bit is amazing! So funny and in character.
Oliver wasn’t going to put the moves on me (what were these moves I kept thinking about?)
- Like I said, I love how her brain works!
During Jane's whole spazz attack, I love how sweet Oliver is. Sure he mocks her, but not to the extent that others would and that is their relationship. He is just trying to make her comfortable.
Did I now have cards to play in this humiliating conversation?
- Hahaha. Sort of. Not really. He would still win the pot.
I agree with Jane; Oliver is such a horn dog.
After that we took a walk down by some jewelry stores where I proceeded to whine about my lack of jewelry (to which Oliver shoved me into the door), but he bought me vanilla ice cream so it was a successful trip in the end.
- And that is how my dates go... Haha! Ice cream and baby animals are the only way to make up for lack of sparkly things.
“I’m getting there. Eyes are a little droopy.”
“Jane Perry, queen of the weird words.”
“I’m not forgetting your use of the word ‘pang,’ Oliver.”
- Ah, that use of pang. I swoon just thinking about it. And droopy is not a weird word.
Jane's legs! They appear in all their glory! Too bad the twins weren't there to comment. But if they were we wouldn't get OLIVER WITH HIS SHIRT OFF! This is where the issues with reviewing that I referred to above come into play.
I think the way you do the “fade out” for the first night is just fantastic. Privacy, not against the rules, not out of anyone’s comfort zone for reading or writing. Not really sure what your comfort zone for writing is. The “fade out” also is perfect for the character and situation.
“You’re beautiful,” Oliver whispered, lips grazing mine.
“You’re a romantic sod.”
“You love it.”
- I know I love it...
And then there is Oliver with his shirt off with MESSY HAIR!!! Ahem. Please give me a moment to get my breath back.
LIBBY!!! I demand more LIBBY!!! I know that I am in no position to demand anything, but there you go. Libby needs to re-appear. I'll admit it, I love her.
Speaking of eggs... I finally figured out how to make eggs in a way that I like them! Over easy! Like Libby...
“She’s snagged another woman. Finally over Alicia I see.” There is a typo there. The pronoun should be He's.
ALICIA! Even in a letter, I love her. She is my favorite. Alicia, Doger, Jane, Mr. P, Libby, Fred, and Liam. They are my favorites. But Alicia is at the top of the list. Next to Doger. Who is mine... Can we do a crossover with BTQC where Gaia gets Doger? Pretty please!!!
“That way you can see me right before and right after—and I can show you how good I am.”
“I’ve seen you play for six years.”
“I’m so good, aren’t I?” Oliver laughed and ruffled my hair.
- Arrogant sod! Love it!
I love the call back to the Halloween chapter. That was such a major chapter in their developing relationship. I like how the costumes have played a part in rediscovering the relationship.
I smiled maliciously. I even felt a little malicious. That sounded like a good name for a kitten. Little Malicious, walking around causing trouble and whatnot. I wanted a kitten. Mental note.
- Just a great bit. And a great name for a kitten.
Oliver’s eyes were drinking me in and if they were hands the entire situation would have been severely inappropriate. Not that I didn’t want it to be.
Well, that's all that I'm going to say about that.
Author's Response: Aw, yay! Thank you so much for the review! I love Jane's legginess and that it is such a central image, haha! Alicia will also always be at the top of my list. She is crazy, hilarious, and quite the woman. I think this was an important chapter to build more of their relationship while being cute and fluffy and concentrate on a pressure everyone has in their relationships. Do we do this? Or do we not? Are we ready? Stuff like that. And how it makes pressure for the rest of their relationship. Thank you so much for the review!