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Review:Atomic says:
Hi there, it's Atomic again with your review!!!

I am absolutely loving your characters!! You're so good at creating so many different characters, each with their own personality. I'm definitely excited to see where you are taking your story, with the evil May and the innocent Miranda and Eileen.

As for your English, it's pretty good, but there are multiple little mistakes with sentence structure. Unfortunately, this really interrupts your flow. I might suggest investing in a Beta who could help you with the little things. Not only would it help you with your English, but it would really help the story live up to its potential. You've got a really great story going on here and I hate that little mistakes can take so much away from it.

I absolutely love your characters, I really do. The dialogue is really great and believable. You don't make it sound like an awkward script at all. It does get a bit confusing though, always jumping back and forth between the different groups. I might try to intertwine them more, or write each group as a separate chapter. It just gets confusing trying to remember where we left each group last and trying to keep up with what everyone is doing.

But I'm really like the story!! I especially love that you wrote Tom into it. I absolutely love stories where Tom was still at school and I can't wait to see if May gets involved with him at all. You've got a great plot going!

Good job! Can't wait to read the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hello again and thank you again!

I am so happy that you like my characters! I was a bit worried about that at first when I started writing, because I do have a tendency to make them all a bit mean, and theyll probably all turn out to be something that they did not seem at first :)

Yes, I'll definitely look for a beta, I know it's needed and hopefully it'll help me to develop the way I write :)

It might seem a bit skipping (hop-to-this-character-hop-to-that) right now, but as we get further into the story and have gotten to know them I'm quite sure that it'll change. It is a bit troubling that people get confused though... I'll try to fix that (oh and they will become quite intertwined very soon!) :)

Haha the whole idea sprang from Tom so I'm glad that you like to see him in another set :)

thank you so much again


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