Hello Melanie! ♥
This was a brilliant first chapter. I've never pondered about Percy during this time, and now I'm shocked I didn't. It's such an interesting idea, and very different, perhaps difficult to get right but you definately have. I feel like Percy's emotions came across so well, and you've built up this strange world brilliantly - there is a sense of fear, and loneliness, and it's dark, which makes it all very gripping. Percy's characterization is brilliant, perhaps he doesn't have the same heroic/bordering on stupid thing going for him as Harry, but he certainly isn't boring. Heh, I don't know how to convey what I mean but your Percy is perfect - he's smart, sharp and you've shown that when he wants to be, he's kind of a badass too.
Umbridge's characterization was also perfect, and the whole atmosphere of this was just chilling - I really felt Percy's repulsion of himself and also his fear in that courtroom, and his loneliness.
This line was my favourite: So he tried to avoid it, the way he tried to avoid thinking about what his mother might be cooking for dinner that night, or how his sister was doing at school, or just trying to remember what it felt like to not be so alone and utterly lost.
So beautiful and made him feel so real, y'know?
Looking forward to the next chapter
Author's Response: Thank you, Helena!
I've been wanting to write this for awhile, because it was obviously a huge part of his journey. And he's starting to realize what he got himself into, and the really heartbreaking part, I think, is that he wishes he could just go home but now he CAN'T, and I think that would have been almost unbearable. And he's only about 21 years old at this point, so he's still very much a kid in many ways, and I think that makes the whole thing worse. Definitely right, he's not a "hero" in the way Harry is - Harry would never have been able to keep his mouth shut and his head down - he would never have been able to stand by while people were doing things he didn't agree with - he would have felt the need to act out and express his disagreement even if it was going to get him killed. But that kind of behavior would not be helpful here, and frankly, not everyone can have the same hardheaded and fairly reckless sense of righteousness that Harry exhibits, so while Percy disagrees with what's going on, he literally can't do anything (unless he wants to risk getting killed or imprisoned). While Percy's decisions got him here, at this point things are completely out of his control. I just think that's a really scary thought, and I wanted to explore what would have been going through his mind at this time.
Next chapter is halfway done at this point! I'm glad you're enjoying this! Thank you so much for the wonderful review!