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Review:Alopex says:
Wow. This is really good! Sometimes I feel like a broken record, because I know I've said this before, but your writing has improved so much since your earliest stories were posted here. I hope you do continue to write, even if it's only sometimes when time permits.

I loved your portrayal of Barty. The Ravenclaw collaboration also focuses on Barty, so I've spent a fair bit of time considering him and working out timelines and so forth. I think the collab is turning out well, but I also think your portrayal of Barty is more powerful. I'm really impressed.

I am slightly surprised that he managed to get away with unforgivable curses at school (what he did to Umbridge) like that, but that was a powerfully astonishing scene. I won't pretend I didn't enjoy the fact that Umbridge tried to manipulate him and got her comeuppance but good, yet it wast will horrifying and really showed Barty's true nature. The bits about killing the fly and transfiguring that poor boy's pincushion just reinforced it.

What you did with Moody and Barty was excellent as well. By the time the practical exam came, you'd established Barty such that I knew he'd be furious at the end of it, but I had sort of forgotten about the trunk (not totally forgotten, just not thinking of it in context to this story). I wasn't really expecting that ending flashing forward, but it really was a perfect ending.

I like what you did with Moody as well, after the exam. I doubt the Ministry would approve of him using Legilimency on students, but Moody's always been the sort to operate on the edges of the rules, hasn't he? That's part of why Barty was able to impersonate him so well, I think. They have definite similarities, but Barty is far more vicious and twisted.

This story was chilling and well-done.

Alopex, Ravenclaw

Author's Response: I waited to answer this review last, because it was the story that I've written recently that I actually think is really good and I'm glad that you agree. I knew I wanted to show just how brilliant Barty Jr. was (he had more OWLs than Hermione after all!). I also wanted to show that he was a broken, twisted, sociopath from day one.

He managed to get away with those curses precisely because he knew how to not get caught and because he had his father's position to protect him. Umbridge wanted something from him, so she couldn't turn him in, even if she remembered what he had done to her.

I really think that Moody would have seen through him the whole time, but not been able to prove anything. He hoped that giving the boy a lesson would scare him straight, but it only made Barty more eager to get revenge, and he did get his revenge. At least until he met up with DD.

I agree that Barty and Moody were two sides of the same coin, both willing to do what it takes for what they believe in.

So glad you enjoyed this story and that you thought it was well-done. Your opinion means a lot to me.

Punish Umbridge more is my motto.


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